Right to Write

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” -Ernest Hemingway

Mr. Hemingway died on this day. This quote could not be more true, although typewriters are becoming few and far between these days. Everyone must make more time to do things that ignite their soul and bleed with intensity. 

For me, it's photography & writing. Two things in which I love yet abandon so badly.

My wish for the world today is that everyone would just let their passions positively bleed. I have had two friends in the past year take their own lives. Both of these amazing people were artists that I greatly admired. One was a woman who's paintings were beautiful & inspring to so many people in our community. The other gentleman happened to be my photography teacher turned friend through my college career. Ernest Hemingway committed suicide as well . . . too many artists have let go, leaving behind a legacy of art but much to soon before thier time.

The world is confusing, with sensory overload happening at every turn. No matter how confusing, tragic & depressing there is always a healthier outlet than letting go.

 Reading. Writing. Talking. Painting. Biking. Hugging. Kissing.

This post took a whole different path then what I first intended, but I let my thoughts bleed and this is where they ended up.

Suicide is something I have yet to fully understand, but the only thing I know for sure is it's not the answer. For more information, visit the suicide prevention lifeline.

India Dreaming

The other night, I had an amazing dream about India. I dreamt that someone surprised us with a visit to Sooch Village while we were in India. Tears began rolling down my face in excitement of getting to see how much all the orphans had grown in the past year. When I look back on this dream, I can still feel the complete and utter excitement that overwhelmed me when they told us the news. This one little girl in particular, Mooshkawn, has been on my mind nearly everyday since I returned from India last March. I have never felt a yearning to be a mother, but Mooshkawn is this little girl I worry about daily. She was the initial reason I wanted to go back to India.

Tearfully, I told my mom one day that I couldn't get this little girl out my head and that I worried about her so incredibly. I also told my mom that I thought I was crazy, but that I felt as though I was supposed to be this little girls mother. I thought my mom was going to tell me I was insane after telling her this, but her response was "Well Mona, go find her." I love how my mom says things that are so simple & beautiful, it doesn't matter if she says it to me in Farsi or English, it always translates into the same simplicity. International adoption isn't legal in India and I am so far away from ever being a mother, but the impact this little one has left on my heart is felt every single day.


I can't believe I am getting the opportunity to go back to India as an Ambassador. It also amazes me how often I feel as though I ruined my last trip. Before going to India, I felt like I could conquer anything. I came home feeling more weak than I ever had in my life. A lot plays into feeling that way, but one good start is my lack of writing while I was there and the lack of what I did to send the message of these children once I returned. No matter what you do, you cannot prepare yourself enough for India. As soon as you step off the plane, the immense amount of sounds, smells and sights is enough to make you feel completely out of your element.

Almost a decade ago, my Senior quote for high school was by Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

I'm still working on it and I have a long way to go.